


I Can't Lose You

by Empress_of_Yaoi



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Hurt/Comfort, Its late and I have to post to the challenge today, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut, Twelve Days of Smutness, kissing kissing and more kissing, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_Yaoi/pseuds/Empress_of_Yaoi
Summary: When Arthur says he's reached his limit, Aaron only has one goal left; find out why his boyfriend wants to leave and fix his mistakes.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Arthur Weasley
Kudos: 7
Collections: The Twelve Days of Smutness 2020





	I Can't Lose You

“For the love of -- Aaron, we’ve been together nearly two years now!” Exasperated, Arthur Weasley leaned against the wall of his boyfriend’s bedroom, “Two whole years, Aaron. You stopped sending Jack to his aunt’s last year. You haven’t once had me over without having the guest bedroom ready. You shy away every time I attempt to snuggle up to you in bed. I… I just don’t understand.”    
  


The older man seemed to deflate, sliding down the wall until he sat on the floor, “You have no problem introducing me as your partner -- boyfriend, even. But when we’re alone…”    
  


Aaron let out a heavy sigh, setting himself down on the corner of the bed, “Arthur… I just…I love you,” he shifted, crouching down just in front of Arthur, as he whispered, “I just don’t know how to do this.”    
  


“So you’re just scared then,” Arthur’s eyes held a mixture of anger and sadness, though his tone was flat.    
  


“Of course I’m scared! I’m terrified!” Rising to his feet, Aaron Hotchner took a few steps away from his boyfriend, a deep frown on his face, “How are you not?!”    
  


A frown appeared on the usually gentle face, “Who says I’m not?”    
  


“Then why are you pushing me so much?”   
  


“Aaron, I’m not  _ pushing  _ you!” Scrambling to get up as well, Arthur’s eyes shot angry flames, “Merlin’s beard! Will you just listen to yourself?! You stand there accusing me of --”    
  


“I’m not accusing you of anything!” He angrily took a step towards the older man, unconsciously pushing out his arms a little, appearing larger than he was as he all but yelled, “I’m not! But you keep doing this! You keep asking me if I'm ready yet! Why won't you trust that I'll  _ tell _ you when I'm ready?"

He pushed off the wall, taking up what little space was left between Aaron Hotchner and the bed. There was nowhere else to go, with the other man blocking him in. Arthur tried to take a deep breath, but found he just couldn't, "I keep pushing -- as you seem intent to put it -- because no, I  _ don't  _ think you'll tell me when you're ready. I’m starting to think you'll never be ready to have sex with a man. I think that you've been stringing me along for two goddamned years! And I'm sick and tired of it!"

For just a moment, Aaron stood speechless. But his bewilderment soon gave way to more anger, "Are you calling me a liar?! I said I  _ love y-- _ "

"Then prove it," Arthur's voice was cold and dark, his posture defiant, "Sleep with me."   
  


“Just like that, huh?” Aaron took a small step back, crossing his arms before his chest, “Now that’s romantic.”   
  


“If I was so hung up on romance, I wouldn’t be with you,” Arthur spat back, crossing his own arms before uncrossing them again, letting them awkwardly dangle at his sides. His tone softened somewhat, “But if I have to sacrifice the romance to get you over this imaginary obstacle, then by all means, consider it gone.”    
  


“Imaginary,” Aaron scoffed, “Nice way to put it.”    
  


Arthur simply shrugged, his gaze shifting away from his boyfriend and eventually settling on the wall, “If there was actually anything to it, you’d have mentioned it by now. So yes, imaginary.” His eyes trailed back to the dark-haired man standing before him, “Even now you won’t touch me. Even now something is holding you back -”    
  


“Maybe it’s the fact that you’re acting like a jerk?” He balled his hands into fists at his side, feeling the fingernails dig in for a moment as he fought to get himself back under control.

“Ah.” The redhead hid the sadness in his eyes by looking around the room once more, “Well then, I think that’s all I need to know.”    
  


Moving forward, he found his path still blocked by Aaron’s body. Without looking up, Arthur paused, wiggling his nose for a moment before gesturing with his hands, “If you’d kindly step aside…?”   
  


Confused, Aaron almost moved back, “Why…?”    
  


“My wand’s on that dresser there,” He motioned, then patted his pockets, “Think I’ve got a bit of flu powder left. You mind if I use the chimney? One last time for old time’s sake, you understand.”    
  


Frowning, Aaron mouthed wordlessly, his arms coming up as if to physically hold Arthur in place, “N-... I-... Y-...” He tried a calming breath, “Yes I mind!”    
  


“Oh,” Still not looking up, Arthur wiggled his nose once more, “So sorry. I’ll just apparate then. Makes me a bit queasy,” He patted his stomach, “But it’ll do. Probably shouldn’t have had that last corndog then. Oh well. Not a problem.”    
  


“Wha-...?” He swallowed hard, “What are you talking about? You’re leaving? I thought you said you had the weekend off?”    
  


“I do, I do,” Arthur muttered, “Can’t exactly waste it here, now can I? If this is-”    
  


“ _ Waste it?! _ ” Exasperated, Aaron moved forward, forcing the older man to take a step back, “What are you talking about?”    
  


“Well,” The redhead still refused to look up, “I think it’s perfectly clear, to be honest.”    
  


“Perfectly clear?” Aaron shook his head a little. Then he frowned. Sighed softly before letting his shoulders sag. Slowly, ever so slowly, he raised his head, clearly attempting to look Arthur in the eyes. It took a few seconds, but eventually the redhead returned his gaze, “So, is this you breaking up with me?”    
  


Arthur frowned, shaking his head just a little in his characteristic way before scrunching up his nose. He let out a small but deep sigh. Then, he nodded.    
  


“You can’t even say it?” Aaron was close to tears, biting his lower lip to keep them from spilling over, “You break up with me out of nowhere, and you don’t even have the gall to actually say the words?”    
  


Shrugging, the redhead looked away, “I have been quite patient with you. Quite patient indeed. But even I have limits.”    
  


A humorless, almost soundless snicker escaped the younger man, “Limits? You have limits? Not like I’ve been putting up with you showing up in my goddamn living room whenever you damn well feel like it-”    
  


“I do believe that matter was settled,” Arthur’s tone had shifted, anger slowly starting to slip in.    
  


“Oh yes, you stopped,” Aaron sneered, “How  _ understanding _ of you to cease your trespassing after  _ repeated  _ requests to do so.”    
  


Pursing his lips, he looked around the bedroom once more, “Right. Well.” There was a sharpness in his voice that Aaron had never heard before, “I do apologize for the inconvenience, it won’t happen again.”    
  


He sucked in a sharp breath, grumbling, “You’re damn right it won’t.”    
  


“Indeed,” Stepping forward, Arthur once again motioned for Aaron to get out of his way, “Now, if you don’t mind…?”    
  


Aaron frowned, pushing his arms out to the side to block Arthur’s path, “I do mind, actually. Is this because we haven’t had sex yet?” His disbelief rang clear in his voice, but it seemed the only explanation.    
  


“I did mention that I reached my limit, I think.” Again, his hand waved vaguely in the direction of his wand, “Excuse me.”    
  


His eyes darkened, “No.”    
  


Eyebrows raised, Arthur looked up, “Excuse me?”    
  


“I said I won’t, you damn -” Aaron bit his tongue to keep from saying more and causing irreparable damage in the process. After a shaky breath, he continued, his voice quiet now, “I don’t want you to leave. I love you. If this is really about the sex, then -”    
  


“That’s not what it is, though.” A small sigh escaped him, “The problem at hand seems to be that you seem inclined to permanently keep me at arm’s length. I told you, I have limits.”    
  


“Yeah, yeah and you reached your limit, I get it.”    
  


“If you do, I’d like to ask you to-”    
  


“No.” Aaron tried to swallow around the lump in his throat, “What do I do to fix this?”    
  


The older man cocked his head, “You still ask?”

Aaron nodded to himself, “Right…” He quickly pushed up against the other man, squishing Arthur between his body and the wall. Lips found lips in a rough kiss, Aaron's tongue harshly pushing past Arthur's lips as his body pressed up tighter against the older man. 

Eventually, Aaron retreated somewhat, a defiant look on his face as he still held Arthur captive between his body and the wall. Though he no longer pressed up against him, Aaron's arm extended to the wall, preventing Arthur from moving away, “There,” He panted, “Happy now?”   
  


Arthur wordlessly shook his head, seeming unfazed, “I told you to sleep with me. It’s not like we’ve never kissed before. Though,” his expression changed into one of wonder, a hand slowly coming up to touch his kiss-bruised lips, “Never like this before.” 

A small smile appeared on Aaron's face before he leaned in once more, this time gently cupping his boyfriend's cheek, brushing his thumb over soft skin before crashing their lips together once more.   
  


Arthur kissed him back passionately, his hands soon searching Aaron’s chest. They found their target easily enough, deftly pinching nipples through the younger man’s shirt.    
  


Aaron gasped as the sharp pain shot through his nipples. His back arched, thrusting his chest forward. Eyes searched Arthur’s face, finding the older man wearing an amused expression. He seemed perhaps slightly surprised but otherwise composed.    
  


Time seemed to stand still as the intense sensation on his chest seemed to expand until his entire body was set ablaze. He panted, biting his lip to keep himself from moaning. His hands rested against the wall, on either side of Arthur’s shoulders, his head hung down as if to hide his face from the older man.    
  


Suddenly, a twist, a pull. Aaron could not hold back his whimper, his fingers curling into fists in an attempt to maintain some semblance of control.    
  


Then, as quickly as it’d all started, it was gone. Arthur let go of his nipples, slipping deftly out from betwixt his trembling arms and past his quivering body. Aaron’s world was spinning, his body temporarily forgot how to breathe, yet still he managed to squeeze out a single word, “Please…”    
  


From behind him came Arthur’s voice, “I beg your pardon?”    
  


He gasped for air, lungs burning as they expanded just barely far enough to keep from passing out. Another breath, he forced, needing above all to speak, “Don’t… leave me…”    
  


A deep sigh reverberated through the quiet of the room, sliced in half by Aaron’s pained gasps, “I’d rather not, to be honest. But it seems there is no place for me here.” A soft sound, one that Aaron had come to know well over the past two years, one that he feared more than anything right now; The sound of Arthur’s wand leaving Aaron’s dresser.    
  


He couldn’t speak. Even if he’d had the breath to push the words out, he had no words to speak. So instead, Aaron whirled around, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s body as his eyes pleaded with the redhead. Stay, they said, stay with me.    
  


The older man just looked at him for a few seconds. A soft sigh escaped gentle lips, “Aaron…”    
  


“I can’t lose you, Arthur. I-” The memory of Arthur’s fingers twisting his nipples suddenly overcame him and Aaron almost moaned at the thought alone, “I just - not now!” He knew his voice came out whiney, a red blush settling high on his cheeks.    
  


Arthur looked at him, a knowing expression on his face. Aaron hesitated for only a moment before crashing his lips back to his boyfriend’s. Arthur’s tongue immediately came to meet his as warm arms wrapped around him tightly. Aaron pushed up against Arthur’s body as tightly as he could, wanting to somehow convey how much he loved him, how dearly he wanted Arthur to stay.    
  


The older man stumbled back a little under the weight, bumping into the dresser. There was the distinct sound of wood rolling on wood. A slight, anticipation-laden pause, then the unique sound of a wand hitting the parquet and rolling under the dresser.    
  


Aaron pulled back. His eyes anxiously searching Arthur’s face for signs of what to do next. Would this one mistake signal the end of the reprieve he’d gotten? Was Arthur going to pick up his wand and disappear like he’d done so many times already? Was he going to be single in a few more minutes?   
  


Arthur chuckled. He unwrapped his arms from around the younger man for a moment, laying his hands on Aaron’s shoulders instead. Gazing deeply into Aaron’s eyes, he seemed to be searching for something. “Aaron, you’re fantastic.” One hand slid up past Aaron’s neck, grabbing the back of his head and pulling him in for another passionate kiss. The other hand trailed down, grabbing a good handful of ass and squeezing.    
  


He gulped - finding his mouth immediately occupied by the other’s tongue - and inadvertently stepped forward. Arthur’s hand followed, pressing their bodies together at the hips as he kissed him fiercely.    
  


Aaron’s head wasn’t fully in it, the kiss pushed into the back of his mind. Because there, forced tightly against his own, was Arthur’s cock. He’d never found himself this close to it before. Aaron had always assumed it would be nerve wracking. That he would be scared to touch it or that he would touch it in a way that Arthur didn’t like. But right now, Aaron was fighting the urge to grind up against it. Fighting the almost desperate need to reach down and feel the older man up.    
  


He slowly became aware that Arthur was smiling into their sloppy kiss, the older man’s hand grabbing his ass a little tighter, pushing their bodies flush up against each other.    
  


Unable to stand it anymore, Aaron let his own hands wander down to Arthur’s ass, gliding over it until he found the courage to squeeze it lightly.    
  


The action sparked something in Arthur, as he let out a guttural moan that broke their kiss. Heavily lidded eyes found Aaron’s. They seemed to almost be begging him to go on, which Aaron gladly did. His hands both wandered Arthur's backside, sometimes gently stroking, other times firmly kneading. It was starting to get obvious that Arthur prefered the latter.    
  


Panting, the man rested his head on Aaron’s shoulder. Soft sounds fell off his lips, egging Aaron on, encouraging him to explore more. Arthur’s hands clasped at Aaron’s arms as he searched for support. The man shook on his legs. His breath came in rapid bursts, interrupted by the occasional drawn-out moan.    
  


Aaron smiled to himself, enjoying the view more than he’d ever care to admit out loud. Every now and then he’d lean in to place a loving kiss on Arthur’s lips. He could never get enough of kissing this man. Placing three small kisses in quick succession, he chuckled as he noticed Arthur was trying to keep up and kiss him back. Taking pity on the pouting man, he leaned in for a languid kiss, only to be caught off guard by Arthur’s passionate response. Arms wrapped around his shoulders as the older man kissed him fervently.    
  


He found himself getting pushed back. One step. Then one more. Soon enough he felt the edge of the bed against the back of his legs. Arthur shifted, pushing one leg in between Aaron’s, pushing them apart. One hand slowly slid down past his arm before Arthur’s hand slipped in between their bodies, rubbing Aaron’s cock suggestively.    
  


Without thinking, he pushed up against Arthur’s hand, his own hands automatically working the buttons on Arthur’s shirt. One popped off, but Aaron couldn’t spare a thought for it as he impatiently tugged at the fabric. Their kiss had been broken by Aaron’s single minded attempt to get his boyfriend’s clothes off before Arthur’s touches pushed him over the edge.    
  


Arthur seemed to get the gist of it, giving one final squeeze before releasing Aaron’s throbbing cock. His own hands started working on Aaron’s shirt. They got in each other’s way, slowing down the process considerably, but neither wanted to wait for the other to finish first. So they tugged and pushed until, finally, both men stood shirtless.    
  


The moment Aaron’s undershirt fell to the bed behind him, Arthur’s demeanor changed. His face wore an expression of awe, his hands gently exploring Aaron’s chest and upper arms. His shoulders and his stomach.    
  


For a little bit, Aaron allowed it. Waited for Arthur to finish whatever it was he was doing. But he couldn’t wait long; His cock still throbbed. Hooking his fingers on the waistband of Arthur’s trousers, he pulled the other man up against him, grinding his hips to get his message across. Arthur bit his lip, eyes falling almost closed. Unable to wait any longer, Aaron unbuttoned Arthur’s pants, glancing up before undoing the zipper. There seemed to be no objections. Hands shaking, he pulled Arthur’s pants down, following them all the way to the floor. As he crouched, his face leveled with Arthur’s cock, the hot flesh fighting against the bounds of the man’s boxer briefs. He couldn’t resist the temptation, bumping his nose into Arthur’s length before rising back up.    
  


Arthur moaned, bucking his hips once but reigning himself in almost immediately. When Aaron faced him again, he could see the man opening his mouth to apologize, but he cut him off by sticking his tongue in Arthur’s mouth. He was far more interested in continuing than he was in apologizing to one another. Arthur seemed to understand, his hands unbuckling Aaron’s belt.    
  


As he slid down Aaron’s slacks, Arthur too, pressed his face against his boyfriend’s erection. Unlike Aaron though, Arthur allowed his hands to sneak up the sides of Aaron’s legs, gently gripping his underwear and pulling it down ever so slowly.    
  


Aaron watched as his last piece of clothing got calmly stripped away. Around here was where his nerves would kick back in, he figured. But they didn’t. He watched Arthur’s face as the man gradually exposed his body, watched as Arthur’s eyes shone with anticipation.    
  


Hands gently nudged his hips, pushing him back on the bed. Aaron took the hint to sit down. The moment his ass hit the bed, Arthur scooted in, positioning himself between his legs. Aaron could feel his eyes widen a little as he finally realized what Arthur was after, just a second or two before hot lips enveloped his cock.    
  


He closed his eyes, allowing his head to fall back as his cock slipped deeper and deeper into Arthur’s mouth. For a moment, Aaron couldn’t help but wonder if the older man had used some kind of charm to elongate his mouth, but then disregarded the notion. Arthur hadn’t touched his wand in hours, there was no way. There was no time to think about it either as Arthur’s tongue started to join in.    
  


Arthur’s mouth was hot and wet and delightfully determined to give Aaron the best experience he possibly could. His enthusiasm was intoxicating and Aaron couldn’t - and honestly wouldn’t - keep quiet. He allowed his moans and pants to permeate the air, hoping Arthur would understand how amazing he felt. He would tell him, later. Now, he was too preoccupied with the pressure that was building up in his loins, and how he wanted it to last just a little longer.    
  


Unfortunately, Arthur was just too good. Or maybe he had just been too excited for too long. Either way, Aaron felt his body giving in to the pleasure, one last rapturing moan piercing the air as he spilled into Arthur’s mouth.    
  


His strength left him along with his seed and Aaron fell back on the sheets. Panting, he spent several seconds staring up at the ceiling, trying to keep his lungs from bursting clear out of his chest. Beside him, someone chuckled.    
  


“Enjoyed yourself, did you?” 

Still short of breath, Aaron looked to his side. Arthur was comfortably seated on the floor, one elbow resting on the bed, his chin in his hand. Swallowing, he tried once more to catch his breath, “I… It’s not that I don’t want to do it for you, I just got to catch my breath…” It wasn’t entirely the truth, but that had more to do with trepidation than anything.    
  


Arthur smiled, “Don’t worry about it.” He hid a yawn behind his free hand, “I honestly would rather just right now. Another night, yes?”    
  


Glancing at the clock, Aaron was shocked at the time. He quickly agreed, scrambling to get up and locate his pajama bottoms, not wanting to risk Jack coming into the room and seeing him naked. Arthur was already pulling up his pajama bottoms. It wasn’t long before the man curled into bed, his clothes kicked under it - he seemed to adhere to the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ policy again tonight. One of these days, Aaron figured, he would have to bring it up.    
  


Wait, one of these days?    
  


Sliding in between the sheets, he gently nudged Arthur, “Hey… you still awake?”    
  


“Barely. What do you need?” His eyes didn’t open, but Aaron decided to ignore it.    
  


“Are we… Are you still breaking up with me…?” He couldn’t help it if his voice cracked, the thought of losing the person he loved again was terrifying.    
  


Arthur’s eyes slowly opened, a thoughtful look on his face, “No. I told you, I don’t really want to live without you, either. And I realize you have quite some history making the idea of a breakup even scarier. But I need you to understand that I did not leave my wife just so I could get strung along by you. Our marriage may have died when Fred did…” He paused for a moment before he got himself back under control, “I think that’s another reason to need a little bit more attention. If you’re alright with that.”    
  


Smiling, he leaned over to kiss the man in his bed, “I am definitely alright with that. Goodnight, Arthur.”    
  


Arthur nodded, reaching out a hand to lay it on Aaron’s chest as he whispered, “Good night, Aaron. Now turn the bloody light off and let me sleep.”    
  


He smiled as he did as requested, and still smiled as he fell asleep a few minutes later. 

  
  
  
  


  
  


Aaron looked up as he felt the mattress move. Panic overcame him when he saw Arthur leaving the bed. Reaching over, he grabbed the man’s wrist, his eyes pleading, his voice begging him to stay.    
  


A soft smile settled on the redhead’s face, “I can’t, Aaron. I told you; There is no room for me here.”    
  


“But I-” He swallowed hard, “We did it! I even-...”    
  


Chuckling, Arthur leaned over to place a warm kiss on Aaron’s forehead, “You shy away every time I attempt to snuggle up to you -”    
  


“I won’t, I promise!” Tears stung in his eyes. His throat was closing up rapidly - Arthur was leaving after all? Had he planned to sneak out after Aaron fell asleep all along?    
  


A quiet sigh cut through his train of thought, “Aaron, it’s not any of those things. There is no room for me - in this bed. I keep almost falling off, I have fallen off a number of times. I’m going to go sleep in the guest bedroom, alright?”    
  


Aaron Hotchner blinked. Blinked once more, “No. Get dressed. The sun is up. We’re getting a bigger bed.” 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
